Waiting for a Heartbeat

We decided we wouldn't tell our families about the pregnancy until we knew that the fetus was more viable-we were waiting for a heartbeat.  I made an appointment with my OBGYN and he wanted to see me right away because of the previous miscarriage.  Apparently, this was categorized as a 'high-risk' pregnancy.  The hubby couldn't make it to the appointment on such short notice, and we figured that it was too early in the pregnancy to hear a heartbeat anyway, so my mom came with me-I needed moral support.  Do you know how they check on pregnancy during your first trimester? They stick this HUGE dildo up your vagina and move it around (painfully, I might add) in order to get the best view.  Very uncomfortable. So you have your legs in the stirrups, a strange man staring at your crotch, an enormous piece of plastic up your vagina and your mother up by your head when you hear this muffled lub/dub, and you realize, there's a heartbeat!  We told parents, siblings and my best friends.

But the phone calls weren't jubilant like they were last time.  They were cautious, but hopeful; quiet, but forceful; scared, but excited. There was a strict gag order in place and we held our breaths.